Because of You, I Am Afraid
by Arden Skysender
Summary: He banished her for her beliefs. Now, two hundred years later, they are thrown back together, and Rumil is trying his luck. Can Haldir cope with seeing her in anothers arms? Can she live not being in his? Haldir OFC
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: That's right readers. I'm back, after the worst case of writers block known to man. I from here on in, may be tempted to dabble in X-Men fic, perhaps, as I have rediscovered my fondness for a certain blue furred Doctor, and winged mutant (not together of course!) and until my elf muse makes a reappearance in my life, the mutants currently have the run of my head. So enjoy this, it took me three months to write, and you will receive a new chapter each week, and reviews are appreciated very much, as I am still figuring out the ending. So enjoy, fellow Haldir fans, and loyal readers! **

_Imrhienna shook her head sadly, forcing herself from his bed, her long silver hair falling to mask her face ."You do not understand, Haldir."_

_Haldir looked up at her from his place, sprawled on the bed. He sighed in exasperation, as though she were little more than a child with a silly notion. _

"_We have spoken about this Imrhienna. No, and why would I want to? Leave Mens problems to men. It's been centuries since they brought anything to us but despair, the eldar have little to do with them now. And I for one think you may be being silly. Now come back to bed." His eyes darkened, and he smiled lustily. "Ï have something to show you." This was a long running argument of theirs, and he was growing tired of it._

_She shook her head again, refusing to look at him. If she looked at him, she knew she would falter. _

_She shrugged back into her clothes from the night before. Last night, she had tried to have this conversation with him, but only succeeded in letting him take her. Again._

"_Why can you not understand? These people need help, and I can give it to them."_

"_But it is not for you to help them. It is for their own kind. You do not belong with them, you belong with me." _

_This was different, he realised then. This wasn't his Imrhienna speaking of something she had seen…this was Imrhienna speaking of something she was going to do…_

"_No Haldir. I had hoped it would not come to this, but I am afraid that if you can not understand my desire to help these people, than perhaps we are not right for each other after all."_

_Haldir looked up at her again, sitting up, an eyebrow raised. _

"_Are you suggesting that because I do not have concern for that which does not concern me, we are no longer in love? Your reasoning is more than a little flawed."_

"_And that's why I cannot be with you anymore Haldir. My dreams mean nothing to you. And I can not go on ignoring the cries of others. I have spoken to the Lady."_

"_You should not have concerned the Lady with such petty grievances!" he said, turning his back to her, as he too made his way out of their bed._

"_What choice did you give me? I leave tomorrow for the border villages, to do what good I can. I am useless here Haldir. None save you have any use for me, as I am a mediocre healer at best amongst the eldar. But my skills are far greater than any the men have. I am needed there. And you can either support my decision, or you can-"_

"_You are needed here," he said softly, before turning to face her. "I forbid it," he said quietly._

"_Ï will do this with or without your cooperation Haldir." She said, keeping her gaze firmly on his. Years of guilt finally motivating her to speak. "Ï love you, but I can't put my own needs first this time. Others have greater need."_

"_Greater than me?"_

"_It is not a question of you or I Haldir, stop making it personal. You were the one who said you would not have anything to do with it."_

"_And to that I stand. You leave the city tomorrow, and it will not only be my arms closed to you, but the borders of Lorien. Is that what you want? Will you forsake all for the pettiness of men? Will you forsake me?" He looked smug, as though the threat had won this argument._

_She did not say anything, simply turning from him, and leaving through the door, closing it firmly behind her, trying not to let the tears that were in her eyes spill. _

"_I do not think it is the men who are being petty, Haldir."_

She woke with a start, the same way she did every night after such dreams. Despite the events occurring centuries before, they remained as clear in her mind as if they had happened yesterday. Her years with Haldir had tried to be left in the past long ago, after her hope died that perhaps he might have a change of heart when he realised how much these endeavors meant to her. But no. She was turned away. And away she stayed.

After generations of healing the surrounding villages ailments, she could make a living for herself well enough. Despite some initial mistrust, the village people were in too much need of a skilled healer to be able to turn one away. The last century had been a hard one for the people of Craigey. After the devastation of the Great Plague nearly two decades ago, the population was still recovering, and every child born was a joy. More worrying still, however, was the very little rain that had been received in the past few years, making the surrounding scrub, and the villages prided maize fields very dry indeed.

Her skill was a precious commodity, and one that the people were well glad of.

She lived in a little cottage on the outskirts of the forest, not in it, but close enough so she could still raid the borders for the herbs she needed to heal the people. She had not seen hide nor hair of her own kind for near upon two hundred and fifty six years, and even that visit had been brief, an elven scout having arrived from Imladris, and had traveled through their village at great speed, on horseback.

Her appearance, what she was, her very nature set her apart from the other villagers, but there was an unspoken alliance between the two parties. And whatever qualms the adults had initially held about her presence when she first arrived in the village two hundred years before, gave way as another generation grew to power, one that had had her tending their scraped knees and sniffles, even their very birthings. Her presence was never again questioned, and she had become a respected and in a round about way, loved member of the village of Craigey.

The children particularly loved to visit her on the edge of the 'Deep Dark Woods' and tell her of a caterpillar they had seen that day, or of the vegetables that they were forced to eat. And whilst she spoke very little to the adults of anything save healing, she could not find it in her heart to turn these children away, often leaving what task was at hand to go and see said caterpillar, or to offer some advice about the hated vegetables. The children kept her content.

Particularly, they loved her tales of the creatures that dwelled in the forest, all loving the fable of the great golden beast, ten feet tall, as beautiful as he was cruel, whose sharp tongue and snapping jaws stopped all from entering the beautiful city which lay beyond. The irony was more than a little amusing to her.

But still, she was very lonely. There was an emptiness that all these years had yet to fill. And she knew very well what was missing, but she kept assuring herself that eventually, the pain would end.

"Riana! Riana!"

A small voice, gradually getting louder caused her to look up from her herb gathering. A child, no more than eight or nine years was running towards her. Knowing her elvish name isolate her from the village people further, she had modified it two hundred years before, in the hopes of not constantly reminding the people of what she was. After all this time, it was the only name they knew to call her. And she did not care to correct them.

"It's Branna!!" the small child cried excitedly. "She said she's havin' the babe!" she cried, breathing heavily. Imrhienna smiled.

"Then I best come at once then, hadn't I?" Imrhienna said, before picking up her basket. Lonely she may have been, but at least she wasn't useless.

()&()78

The birth had been a difficult one, breech births often were. The men folk of the village had been brought in from the fields, where they had been tilling for stones. That could wait. The babes father sat restlessly in a corner, other village men gathered around, offering unwelcome advice, and welcome liquor.

When the first cries of the babe had wrung out many hours later, a great cheer went up, and Imrhienna left the room, an exhausted smile on her face.

"Ryan," she said, and the slightly drunken man in the corner looked up hopefully. "You have a fine son."

Another raucous cry went up through out the village men. Imrhienna turned to leave, only to be stopped by Ryans hand on her arm.

"Thank you, Riana, " he said, a smile filling his eyes, if not his face. She nodded stiffly, still, after all these years a little uneasy around the physical nature of the men. What could be communicated in words, they manage to convey through touch.

She turned to leave again, when another of the men, a little worse for the drink himself, stepped in front of her.

She recognized him, he was one of the men from a few villages over who had come to aid in preparing the fields. He had not grown up in the village, had not grown up with her presence.

"Far from your own kind, Point Ear," he stated, backing her against one of walls of the little tavern.

The other men, too preoccupied in their own celebration, did not notice. "Pretty little thing like you, wasted amongst your kind."

His rancid breathe was nearly enough to make her wretch with the stench of liquor.

"Take your hands off of me at once," she said clearly, and in his shock, the man nearly did, but then he chuckled, thrusting himself against her.

"Your own males could not satisfy yer?" he asked, grasping her breast in a clumsy paw.

Just as she would have taken matters into her own hands, a half dozen heavy hands landed on the mans shoulders, jerking him back off of her, and then out the door.

"Is there a problem, Riana?" the tavern keeper, Bilson asked, a little concerned. Some of the other village men bodily removed the other man from the village.

She smiled a little shakily. "I am fine, thank you Bilson. It is, at times I fear, unavoidable."

"But it shouldna' be ," he frowned.

Like all in this village, their fathers, grandfathers, great grandfathers before them he had grown up with her to heal his every ailment, and the least they could do to repay her continued presence was to keep the wandering hands of those who would do her harm at bay. She nodded.

"He was worse for liquor, he barely knew what his hands were doing. Do not rough him up too much, Valar knows it will be me who will have to repair him in the morning."

Bilson gave her a wry smile, and she gave a small smile in return, the closest she ever came to joking with the village folk.

She then turned and left the celebrating folk of the tavern. She may have been distant, even a little cold. She may have been of the eldar, a race that they rarely heard from, and when they did it was hardly endearing.

But as far as the villagers were concerned, after proving her worth year after year, she was one of them.

And they defended their own.

**All reviews will be replied to. Hint. Thankyou!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to you all fro your lovely reviews, especially to those who don't leave an email, so I can't respond to personally, so I haven't thanks you yet!! Ta!!! Very much appreciated. Now we will drop in on Haldir and see what hes thinking…let me know what you think…**

Haldir returned to his flet upon the border warily, after a long week. He could finally sleep, and perhaps the cursed dreams of that…that….elleth would not return. Despite two hundred years having passed, how was it that she was still his every waking thought, and most of his sleeping ones too? Any attempts by him or his brothers to let him move on from the pain of the past resulted in catastrophe, and only seemed to make his longing sharper.

But she had betrayed him, going to the men for her purpose, having not been satisfied with him. His bitterness had long ago overtaken any anger he may have felt, to the point where he would do all in his power to disfigure the pure image of her inside his mind. The whore for men, he tried to tell himself. The trollop, the ….he bit back a sigh. It was no good, he still could not let anyone speak of her that way, not even himself.

Years before, when she had first left, and rumours were circulating wildly, a few wardens of his brigade had tried to aid their Captain in getting over his lost love. After a few too many glasses of liquor, one had the audacity to speak ill of his Imrhienna. The end result was often called into question years later, as an example as to why wardens _do not_ drink on duty.

However, burn for her though he might, the bitterness he felt was enough to preserve him. His stubbornness was enough to keep him away, and his word was enough to keep her away from the forests of Lorien for all eternity. She had turned her back on them, they had turned their backs upon her. And still, his bitterness ruled his actions.

He laid his head upon the pallet in the flet warily, content for now to sleep for a while, and not have to think anymore. He closed his eyes.

"_Haldir, where are you taking me? Haldir, slow down," the soft laughter of Imrhienna filtered through the cool night air around him. He grinned, turning to swing her into his arms, and then breaking into a run, he took them the last few yards to the edge of the forest, where, after placing her gently back on the ground, he gave her a boyish grin. "There, we have made it in time, Imrhienna." _

_And there, on the horizon, above a pinkening sky, a red sun had begun its journey upwards. "It is the smoke of the villagers that makes it that colour,' he whispered to her, coming to stand behind her, and pulled her back against him. "Is it not beautiful?" his lips dropped to place a kiss upon her neck, his tongue slipping out to taste her flesh. _

"_What village is this?" she asked quietly, her attention not on the sun rise. Haldir did not stop his ministrations for even a moment. _

"_I believe it is the village Craigey. Look, even the mountains appear amber"_

"_And they are at work in the fields already? Haldir, there are small children down there."_

_Haldir just sighed in to her neck, before bringing his hands up to stroke her breasts, trying to distract her._

"_Haldir!"_

"_Mmmm?" he murmured, as he pulled her closer against him._

"_Please pay attention for a moment. The people down their, they have the most horrid hacking cough. Can you not hear it?"_

_Haldirs lips continued their assault upon her neck, and despite her preoccupation, she shivered at the heat of his kisses._

"_Imrhienna , I brought you here to see the sun rise, not to observe the habits of village life." He turned her away from the rising sun, putting her back to the villagers. "Now kiss me." He lowered his mouth hungrily to hers, and she bit back a moan, as he backed her against one of the trees. _

_One of his hands found its way inside her skirt, and lifted one leg around his waist. She sighed, half in resignation, half in desire, as she felt one of his fingers slide inside her. She could never deny him. He drove all reason from his mind. He thrust against her then, enjoying her taste, her touch, her scent…Her hand slipped between them, into his clothing to grasp his straining arousal. He groaned, arching into her… _

He awoke with a start. He could still taste her upon his tongue. He would be getting no more sleep this night he thought, willing his aching self to settle down. Resigning himself to the insomnia, he folded his hands behind his head, and stared up at the stars, content for now to simply lay, and try and take her taste from his mouth, her scent from his head, the feel of her against him. All were clogging his senses, and so he was startled when a loud thumping on his door awoke him from his reverie. He leapt from the bed, only to have the blankets tangle in his legs, and force him to the ground.

Wincing, and cursing the unruly blankets, he managed to get to the door and throw it open, where his brother Rumil stood panting heavily.

"Haldir, we have sighted a large party of orcs making their way through the eastern border!"

"How close are they?" He asked, noting his brothers disheveled appearance. And the scent of perfume.

"No more than a league."

"Prepare for battle, notify the other wardens. I want a full brigade to meet them, and two more to flank them when they launch their assault." Always calm, always collected, they may as well have been speaking about what the weather.

Rumil nodded once, and began to walk away, whistling a jaunty tune. Haldir winced upon recognizing it as the ever popular tavern song 'Í be Going Hunting'.

"Rumil?'

Rumil turned to face his Captain, and eldest brother as he made to leave the platform.

"Yes?" he asked, looking a little surprised.

"Try not to do anything….well-"

"Stupid?" Rumil grinned.

"Well, I was going to say impudent, idiotic, dense, that could get you killed or maimed, but I think what you said basically sums it up."

Rumil gave a cocky smile, before slipping to the ground. Haldir shook his head after his impetuous brother, before he strapped his sword and quiver on, and strung his bow. He had some hunting of his own to do.

78978

The orcs had attacked suddenly, and with little warning. Although the wardens outmatched them in skill, their sheer numbers had near overwhelmed them. Haldir barely had time to think, and was grateful for the short respite from thoughts of Imrhi...other things.

Whilst the melee had lasted for no more than half an hour, the damage done to the wardens brigade was bordering upon tragedy. And even when neighboring wardens had answered to the call of their brother-in-arms, it was not in time to stop the orc blades spilling more than a little elven blood. And Rumil, who had rushed to the aid of two wardens who were cornered by a snarling party of orcs, had been grievously injured.

Haldir knelt beside his brother, trying to staunch the blood flow. "I would have thought that not calling for assistance constitutes as…let me think…how did you put it….stupid?"

Rumil just smiled weakly up at his brother. "Well, I wanted a pretty scar to show the Ladies. Makes me seem dangerous and…" he paused for a moment, trying to catch his breath, "dashing."

"Rumil, if you do not stop talking, you will seem _most_ dangerous with a gaping wound to the side of your head!" Rumil gave a weak smile, and then closed his eyes. Haldir stood, and faced Orophin. His face grim.

"Haldir, he cannot be moved, look at him. That is his life's blood on the earth!"

Haldir shook his head. Glaring at Orophin he snapped "Do you not think I know that? We will send for help from Lorien. It will arrive in a few days. I've staunched the bleeding. Rumil will be able to hold out until then, won't you brother?"

Rumil opened his eyes and looked up to his oldest brother, hiding his wince as tilting his head creased a wound on his neck. "Äye brother, if you say so," he breathed, unable to manage any more than that. Haldir nodded.

Orophin shook his head. "Haldir, the city healers have always had trouble in healing him, you know this! He is too independent and stubborn to submit easily. Even if they were to get here in time…"

"I will go for aid myself. Orophin, you take the watch until then. There may still be more of the vile creatures in the trees." Orophin nodded a defeated look on his face, before Haldir raced from the clearing, having been unable to trust this mission to another. He would not lose one he loved. Again.

Orophin however, already had a plan inside his cunning head. He knew that there was help much closer at hand than Lorien, and he did not care for his brothers pride if it meant the life of another brother. He left the clearing silently, whispering in a few of his wardens ears, before they too followed him in to the trees. What Haldir did not know, could not hurt him.

He could see her at the edge of the forest, gathering herbs. He was in luck. She was alone. He crept closer. She looked up, scanning the tree line, having an odd feeling come over her, as though someone was watching her.

Orophin held his breathe, but she went back to pulling herbs. In his hand was his sword, the pummel bared, it's blade still sheathed. He then raced up behind her, silently, swiftly, and brought it down upon the back of her head. She dropped like a stone, unconscious. Orophin placed the sword back on his belt, before gathering her in his arms, and placing her in front of him on his horse. "Forgive me, Lady," he whispered. "But I had no choice." And then, with another thought to what would happen if Haldir returned and she was still there, "Valar protect me"

A/N:Let me know what you think now


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers, your words are motivation. Enjoy the next chapter, and tell me what you think.**

A kaleidoscope of images danced in front of her eyes, snippets of her and Haldirs life together, over a lifetime ago.

The first time she saw him….

"_- and one of our healers, Imrhienna, daughter of Malorean." Haldir swept his gaze over her, making her blush prettily, as he took her hand in his, placing an insolent kiss upon the back of I, his tongue snaking out to taste her flesh, and rendering her speechless at his forwardness. _

When he asked her permission to court her. Ask. Ha! Her unconscious mind thought….

"_I will call upon you this evening then, my lady."_

"_But I did not give my consent."_

_He simply smiled his most devastating smile, and placed another of his scorching kisses upon the back of her hand, before drawing her close._

"_Is that a no?" he murmured hotly. _

The first time he had made love to her…

"_Shhhh," he whispered to her huskily, placing his fingers to her lips, his body hard and hot above hers. _

"_Let me," he continued, before bringing both of his hands up and around her, cradling her to him, as she felt him slide inside of her. And then the delicious pain that came from him filling her, completing her._

The first argument they had ever had:

"_Ï do not want you going to the borders again, Imrhienna" he said, pulling her closer._

"_But Haldir, I-"_

"_No. I don't want you going there anymore! Haven't you seen how they look at you? It is not safe!"_

_She did not return his look._

"_I could not live with myself if I let something happen to you…"_

The day he banished her from the city…

_He would not look at her. Finding himself unable to speak, he turned away, putting his back to her, and banished her whilst staring at the trees. "Once you step foot out of these borders, Imrhienna, you will no longer be welcome beneath these trees."_

_She did not reply, instead turning, and walking resolutely away from the city, her small satchel over her shoulder._

_And despite his every instinct, every fiber of his being demanding that he chase after her, and crush her to him, fall upon his knees and beg her forgiveness, he would not… _

Her eyes snapped open. What a depressing montage. She groaned, covering her eyes with her hand at her own weakness. Remembering her own failing, her inability to deny Haldir anything, near shamed her.

"My Lady, are you alright? Can you stand?" Orophin asked, seeing her stirring.

"Who hit me?" she asked quietly, opening her eyes blearily.

The other wardens all looked pointedly at Orophin. Orophin looked sheepish.

The elleth looked as though she wanted to kill him.

"I did not think you would come otherwise Lady. It is well known that you forsake the elder for…"

"For what, warden? Men? If you are after my services, you have perhaps gone the wrong way about it. Twice. Assault and insults are not normally the way one asks for a favor."

"I did not think you would help until you saw-"

"Do you not have one of your own kind to help him?" she asked, forcing herself from the bed, her head aching.

"Are you not of our kind?" Orophin could not resist asking, as she raked her hair back in to a rough braid.

"I will tell you this now, elf, it was not I who forsook the eldar. It was they who turned their back on me."

"Will you at least look at my brother?" Orophin asked a little desperation creeping into his tone. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Which one?" she asked warily, half of her dreading it was Haldir, the other half praying it was.

"Rumil," Orophin said, fighting a smile.

"Quickly then. There are others who need my help this day too."

She fully intended to bandage whatever wound this elf had, and be on her way, after a few more tart words to the warden who had the sheer nerve to knock her unconscious.

But one look at the pale Rumil, whose blood stained the bandages that had been used to try and staunch the grievous wounds, she could not simply walk away.

"I'll need more linen, yards of it, and hot water, and Kingsfoil," she said, before reaching into her hip purse, and pulling out a cooling balm.

"Kingsfoil?" Orophin looked a little confused.

"Atheleas," she said, using the balm on Rumils forehead, having found the cool balm had eased others before. Orophin raced out, returning with a satchel of herbs, placing them beside her.

"I was afraid you would turn him away," Orophin said quietly, watching her unbandage and poultice Rumils wounds.

"I am a healer, warden, whether eldar or not, it is not in me to turn away one in need." and then she spoke no more, concentrating hard on the task at hand.

And then a sudden thought occurred to him. It was a shame that the elleth hadn't killed him when she found out who had brought her here, because when Haldir returned and saw her, and she him, if she didn't kill him them, Haldir most certainly would.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**A/N: If you are Orophin, now would be a very good time to run. This chapter sees Haldir return. Great fun instore. Enjoy, and let me know what you think. Your reviews are very much appreciated.**

Despite her initial misgivings, Imrhienna had more success in healing Rumil than any of the city healers ever could. Healing required peace, a complete surrendering of the mind. Something which Rumil, with all his countless thoughts, questions and schemes, had never been able to achieve.

Her method of healing however…it was entirely physical. Many wardens passed questioning looks her way, as they came to bring her food or supplies, to find her firmly massaging Rumil. But none questioned her methods. Slowly, he was regaining a little strength and the wounds were beginning to loose some of their raw newness.

Orophin was a frequent visitor, and despite herself, she found herself liking the elf, who made her laugh. She could see the family resemblance between him and Rumil, who, on the odd occasion that he was awake, was so cheeky that once or twice she threatened to slap him for his insolence. (biting back a smile of course!) Orophin was quite forthcoming in her presence, telling her of his elleth in Lorien, whom he intended to wed. Any excuse, it seemed, would instantly send him into a tirade about the silk of his loves hair, or the crystal of her eyes. Indeed, Imrhienna felt she knew the elleth already.

When she had first been told of the situation concerning Rumil however, by a vaguely familiar Orophin, in the back of her mind, she knew that the third brother had to be around somewhere, and she wondered where Haldir might be, or even if he knew of her presence here. She shook such musings from her head. No good could come of them.

Orophin, however, knew exactly where he was. And as the days passed, and Haldirs return became immanent, he began to wonder whether or not his approach had been the best. He prayed to the Valar that Haldir was in a jovial mood when he returned, but he already knew that was asking for the impossible. He also knew that he had to speak to Haldir first, before any of the other wardens did, for otherwise, Haldir might hear the wrong story: such as, he thought with a slight wince, what really happened. The situation had to be handled delicately.

**&&&**

Voices alerted him to his brothers return, three days after he had brought Imrhienna to his brother, and long before Rumils wounds had begun to properly knit. He sighed, resigning himself to a lifetime of border duty for this. But he felt no remorse for what he had done. If it meant Rumil lived, he would take whatever punishment Haldir gave willingly. Of course, to get to the punishment, an explanation was in order…The river was always nice this time of year, a swim would be most pleasant….

"OROPHIN!"

Haldir stalked towards his brother, looking angrier than he had seen him for a very long time.

"I have just returned from Lorien, with our greatest healer, who I may have inadvertently insulted in the process of waking him in the dead of night and forcing him to come, and when I arrive, I am told that you forced a village woman here to heal our brother in my absence. Explain yourself!"

"Well, brother….it was sort of an accident,"

"You accidentally saddled a horse, went riding, saw a village woman and-"

"Well, she looked as though she wanted to help."

"_You knocked her over the head with a piece of wood, and dragged her here whilst she was unconscious_?!"

"I did not! Give me_ some_ credit. It was my sword and I put her over my horse!"

"So she did not even come here with the intention to heal Rumil, Orophin! Take her back to the villages immediately!"

"Excuse me!" an outraged feminine voice spoke up then. "You would not be astray to perhaps put some respect in your tone, Captain."

Haldir looked at the elleth in front of him for a moment, unable to say anything at all. It was his dream come to life before him….

"What are_ you_ doing here?" he snapped bitterly, and then, his befuddled brain managed to put the pieces together. A village Healer….

"Like you said. I was hit over the head with a bit of wood and dragged here."

"It was a sword and I put you over a horse, do you think me completely uncivilized?" Orophin murmured, shaking his head.

"Orophin, take her back. Now."

"Brother, she was wrought only good! My methods may have been unconventional, but it saved Rumil-"

"SHE DID NOT DO IT BECAUSE SHE TO SAVE RUMIL, SHE DID IT BECAUSE SHE WAS PROBABLY STILL HALF UNCONSCIOUS!"

There was more fury in Haldir's voce than Orophin had ever heard in all their lives together. It made even he quake.

She however, unable to stay quiet a moment longer in the face of Haldir's degrading remarks, snapped.

"Ï would have come had he not moved me forcibly, Captain, I find _I_ am unable to say no to those in aid."

All wardens present winced at the barbed comment. All knew the base edge of the long seated turmoil between the mens healer and Haldir. Whilst few remembered that they had once loved each other, more remembered that there had always been one eldar that they were forbidden to allow to enter the forests of Lorien.

"Be that as it may, and I am sure my men all thank you for what you have done,' the word thank you sounded as though he had to spit it out, "we have healers here now who will see to it that he is healed properly, so if you would be on your way, I am sure Orophin will have your payment-"

"Nay", spluttered Rumil from his pallet on the wooden floor behind them, having woken during Haldirs tirade. "I'll not have another touch me. Imrhienna has been far better than any of our healers Haldir, already I am regaining a little strength."

Haldir glared pointedly at him, to try and get him to stop talking, before going to him and kneeling beside him, and whispering in words meant only for his ears.

"Rumil, I have brought the best from the city. Once you are fit to travel, the Lady herself will heal you! Even in your current state, will you let your cursed desire make all your decisions?"

"Haldir, she has done far better than any healer of the Wood ever has. She understands…she…I can't explain it."

"I can. Once you are well, I personally shall bring her to your talan, and you can have her as many times as you please." There was a note of desperation creeping into the Marchwardens voice. "But until then, Rumil-"

"No Brother. If you want me to heal quickly, let her heal me."

Suddenly, Haldir was aware of a presence at his side. And a scent he had tried long ago to block from his mind.

"Haldir, stop making him speak! You are ruining what good I have already done. See how pale he is? Either move away so I can change the bandage, or make yourself useful by fetching me a bowl of hot water!"

It took a moment for him to snap out of his shock. _What?_

"You heard me Captain." Imrhienna then had the audacity to elbow him out of the way, in order to hold a cup of water to Rumils lips, and speaking in another kind of voice altogether, a soothing, warm voice that flooded and convinced the senses of all she spoke of, "Rumil, you must have something to drink now, and then you must try and sleep, alright?"

Haldir stood, and stalked from the talan angrily, cursing both of his brothers at once. And the little elleth who had, somewhere in the last five hundred years, developed a temper, and an infuriating capacity to argue. This elleth was not the same one who had left him all those years ago. That elleth had known her place. Under him. This one…she …was…infuriating!

He reached the base of the tree, to see Orophin standing there trying to look innocent. "How fares Rumil?" he asked lightly.

"Do not start the innocent parodies now, _brother_" Haldir snapped, still coming to terms with the little hell cat that had just not only had the audacity to order him from the room, but to physically assault him!

"Haldir, he would not have lasted another few days," Orophin said quietly to Haldirs' back.

Haldir stopped, leaning on a tree, his back to him. "He would of lasted. He is strong, he would of-"

"Brother, you know more than any that those wounds would have killed Rumil had Imrhienna not come when she did. I am sorry that her presence has been salt into long raw wounds, but Rumils wounds were greater."

Haldir nodded again, before looking back at his brother.

"I do not bare you any malice brother, but next time, only use knocking her over the head as a last resort." He said quietly, turning and walking away, before muttering under his breathe, "Valar knows I have wanted to do the same thing myself at times."

Orophin looked after his brother with a hint of a grin on his face. So, the impenetrable Haldir may have been affected by the return of Imrhienna. Well, Orophin would see to it that this time, he would not be too pig headed to see her.

**Feedback is appreciated. In fact, it could be considered vital at this point. lol**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Her hands massaged higher up Rumils arm, briskly rubbing, before making their way across his chest to his other arm. She concentrated so hard on her movements, that she did to hear another enter.

"What a delightful caricature of intimacy. Do you touch all your patients thus?" Haldir asked acidly.

She glared up at him, finding him in the door way to the flet, observing her intently. She however, did not cease firmly stroking and kneading Rumils arms, encouraging the blood flow to the limbs that had lost so much. Yes, it did look compromising to an untrained eye, but once Rumils wounds had knitted together, good circulation was necessary for the wound to heal properly and quickly.

'Did the men enjoy your healing hands on their bodies too?"

"You might find comfort in resorting to pettiness Haldir, but as it helps your brother than perhaps you should not be questioning my methods!"

Haldir had the grace to look chastened. For a moment, nothing more. "Has my sorry excuse for a brother given you anything to eat?" he ground out through gritted teeth, as though her very presence was enough to drive him in to a rage. His sense of propriety, however, was enough to overwhelm his fury for but a moment.

"I am not hungry," she said, before continuing down Rumils right arm. Rumil sighed, before turning his head slightly to look at Haldir. "Make the elleth eat something brother, or she'll fade away."

Rumil turned to mock glare up at her patronizingly. "You do not eat often enough."

"It is up to her to feed herself, Rumil. She is not an elfing." Haldirs face softened just a little as he addressed his brother, before its hard mask slid back into place.

"I will have food brought to you, and you will eat every bite." He turned on his heel, and stalked out of the flet.

"Do not worry, Imrhienna," Rumil whispered cheekily, some of his old spirit returning. "He just wishes it were your hands on _his_ body, not mine."

"I heard that brother!" Haldirs voice drifted in from the platform outside, where he had been addressing one of the wardens.

"See what I mean?" Rumil asked, with a smug smile on his face as his eyes drifted shut. "Green with envy." Imrhienna just rolled her eyes at his insolence.

Haldir stalked away from the talan, muttering curses under his breathe. Calling one of the other wardens to him, he asked him to bring some food to the flet where his brother was being healed by that….that….elleth. By the Valar, where had her sharp tongue come from? With just a few choice words she could cut him to the quick.

He shook all thoughts from his head, and returned to his own flet, content for now to try and sleep. Perhaps now that he had realised what a little hell cat she truly was, a side that somehow, after two years together so long ago, he had never seen. He wasn't sure he liked it, maybe now he would no longer dream of her.

&

He awoke breathing heavily. Unfortunately, her spit fire ways did not discourage his overactive imagination. Apparently, her presence only encouraged such dreams. He threw himself from his pallet, and began to circulate amongst the other wardens, hoping that if he distracted himself, he would stop aching for her.

His thoughts were interrupted by Imrhienna's low laugh filtering from above.

The damn elleth drove him to distraction at every turn! He could not think clearly, his waking hours were spent hoping to glimpse her, and his sleeping ones, well…when he awoke there was not a single part of him that was _not_ stiff. And it did not help that she seemed to return Rumils casual affection towards her, as the warden regained his strength, it would seem that so did his slightly amorous nature.

A week on, and Haldir's temper, nerves and resolve was all fraying. He was not sure how much longer he could tolerate Imrhienna's presence without doing something he knew he would regret. (No, you would not, a little voice whispered to him lecherously.)

Rumils wounds had knitted enough for him to travel, and even some of the shallower cuts had healed almost completely, the angry red of the edges fading to a healthy, healing pink. Despite all the grudges he held against her, he could not fault her for her healing. Rumil was not an easy patient at the best of times.

He was on his way to the flet, to notify his brother that they would be returning to the city on the morrow. He almost sighed with relief with every step he took. Or at least, he told himself it was relief.

When he opened the door to the tiny flet, he found Rumil sitting up, grasping Imrhienna's hand, as she, laughingly, tried to tug herself from his grasp.

He cleared his throat, and Rumil dropped her hand a little guiltily.

"Healing his hand now Imrhienna? I was not aware his left hand was injured." Haldir baited her. Her cheeks turned the slightest shade darker.

"If the case were that bodily contact with another were always in the name of healing, _Haldir_-" she emphasized his name, in defiance of the lack of title. "Then your groin must be the picture of good health!"

Haldir stood in absolute shock, unable to say anything at all. She pushed past him, leaving him to speak with Rumil, who was trying very hard not to laugh very loudly.

When Haldir was finally able to string words together in the wake of his shock, he managed to choke out, with a very red face, "Valar protect her, if I ever find her alone, Rumil."

Rumil sobered. "Ah, brother, you do not mean it. She is better at insulting you than even Orophin!"

"I was not aware that Orophin insulted me." He replied, staring at Rumil hardly, who thought it best if he changed the topic.

"So when do we head back to the city, brother?"

"As soon as the sun rises. I will have Orophin escort your devoted healer back to her village tonight."

Rumil avoided Haldir's gaze for a moment, before looking him squarely in the eye.

"Haldir, I want her to return to the city with us."

Haldir closed his eyes for a moment, before half growling, "Brother, I have put up with a lot of your insolence recently, but this request I will not allow."

"Ït is not a request brother."

Haldir turned to face Rumil, who held his gaze staunchly.

"Pray repeat that, brother?"

"You heard me Haldir. I…we…owe her a great debt. Despite all we, well…_you_…have put her through, she still stayed to heal me."

"She was hit over the head with a…"

"I am aware of that yes, but she still stayed to see me well. We owe her better than sending her on her way with only a word of thanks. _You_, of any of us, owe her more than that."

"I owe her nothing," He ground out through gritted teeth. He did not like where this conversation was heading.

"You owe her an apology. You were never within the right to banish her from the forest to begin with Haldir."

"Do not tell me, _brother_, what I can and cannot do. I had my reasons."

"She is coming with us. Or do I take it to the Lady?"

Haldir exhaled loudly in utter frustration. "You have been spending too much time with the little hell cat."

Rumil said nothing else, his gaze boring into his older brothers. He had never stood up to him before, and Haldir found the whole experience rather disconcerting.

"Just keep her out of my way," Haldir muttered, before rising, and making to leave the room.

"Haldir," he heard Rumil start behind him, and he stopped in the doorway, but did not turn. "I wish to court her, and she has led me to believe my advances are not unwelcome."

Haldir turned to face his brother than, his eyes hard, and cold. "You are welcome to her, _brother_."

He turned on his heel and left, trying to suppress the feeling that he may have just surrendered his hold on something precious.

$&&

"You want me to return to Lorien?" she asked, more than a little surprised at this turn of events. "What of Haldir?"

"Haldir has given his permission, and once more you are welcome in the city. Please, Imrhienna will you not return with me?"

"With you, Rumil?" she asked, a little confused at this turn of events. She had not felt so out of place, so confused, so plain torn since her initial departure from Lorien many years before.

"Yes, Imrhienna. With me." Despite his position upon the pallet on the floor she couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed at the look he was giving her.

'Rumil,…I-"

"What is this?" he asked gently, noticing just how badly he had thrown her. "I am not asking for forever, Imrhienna. Simply return with me. I shall reintroduce you to the city. And we enjoy each others company. You have said as much yourself."

She looked down at him. "But what of…of Haldir?"

"Imrhienna, you have made your distaste of him clear enough. He will leave you alone."

"That is not what I meant, and you well know it."

Rumil sighed. He knew. "He is aware of my intentions."

"He is?"

"Yes, Imrhienna. He had less trouble accepting my affection for you than you apparently are." he was more than a little disgruntled.

"No, Rumil. It isn't that." she stopped, and took a deep breathe. Haldir was unaffected by Rumils proposal? Well than, so would she. "I will return with you Rumil, but do not ask me to leave the village."

"I would not dare to dream of it, Imrhienna." His hand caught hers then, and pulled her a little closer, down towards him.

"Rumil…."

"Shh…"he murmured, trailing off, as he pulled her the last few inches so her lips met his. She was hesitant at first, and then, she submitted to his advances.

Kissing Rumil was not unpleasant, she had to admit, but it did not hold a candle to her memories of the smallest of Haldir's kisses…no! she must stop thinking like this now. Haldir did not care to know her that way now. He had moved on, and now so would she. Besides, she didn't care for the new, bitter Haldir at all. Yes, Rumil suited her far better.

**A/N: just a quick thankyou to those who review and don't leave contact info. I very much appreciate your words! Same goes to my other reviewers. So what do you think? The chapter was a bitlonger than previous ones, yes? and she is returning to Lorien. That should stir some things….ie Haldir…up a bit! Let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**A/n: Thank you to all my reviewers again, your feedback is appreciated very much. enjoy this next chapter, Enjoy. and by the way, the next chapter will b veeerrrryyyy interesting…..but you have to read this one first! Lol let me know what you think.**

Their return to Lorien had not proved as quiet as they had hoped. A large crowd had gathered to greet the returning wardens, the Lord and Lady of Lorien amongst them. After living with the men for so long, she found the peace of Lorien to be a little unnerving at first, but her soul welcomed it. Her soul, she knew, would always belong in Lorien.

"Imrhienna"

She looked up from her contemplation at the sound of her name, to see the Lady of Lorien herself approaching her. She swallowed hard, before dropping into as much of a curtsy as her practical skirts would allow.

She felt a hand come to rest underneath her chin, forcing her head up.

"You have left us for a long time, Imrhienna. It is good to see you have returned to us."

Nothing, she noticed, was said of the Marchwarden's banishing her. Well, it would not be she who brought it up then, like a whining child.

"Thank you Lady,' she murmured, keeping her eyes downcast. The Lady's face was serene, as she turned to face Rumil, who traveled in a wagon behind her. "And dear Rumil, can you not keep yourself out of trouble for more than a few days?" she asked, smiling gently.

Rumil smiled his most devilish smile back, not looking in the least chastened.

"It was not my fault this time, Great Lady, the whole brigade was trapped by three score or more orcs! And I was the only one who had managed to avoid capture, being as nimble footed as I am, so without a thought for my own safety, I did what any warden would do! I fought the orcs off, one by one, until…"

"Until the Marchwarden steps in and prevents you from filling the Lady's ears with such lies."

Haldir, as if appearing from nowhere, was suddenly at the wagons side.

The Lady smiled bemusedly.

"Perhaps you could finish telling me the tale of Rumil and the three hundred orcs another time, Rumil. I must admit, I am a little confused as to why you were so badly injured. Surely this must have been relatively easy for you, given that last time you were injured, I believe you said the number was something near to five hundred?" The Lady asked, smiling.

'More like he fell out of his own flet," Haldir muttered under his breathe. Imrhienna looked amused.

Rumil noticed her smile.

"Ahh, you are all sullying the ears of my new beloved with your profane tales! Do not believe a word of them, Imrhienna, for my word is-"

"About as good as your sword arm at this stage," Lord Celeborn remarked, coming up to inspect the condition of Rumil for himself.

Rumil scowled.

Haldir managed a small smile himself, before he caught the eye of Imrhienna. Instantly, his face returned to its original cool mask, and looked away. As did she.

"Bring him to the healing talans, and I will complete healing him there. Although- " Galadriel turned her omniscient gaze to Imrhienna once more, who averted her eyes once more. "Imrhienna has done much good in such a short amount of time."

"Nothing our own healers could not have managed, I am sure, had Rumil not been so stubborn," Haldir spoke then, for the first time in a while, and the Lady looked at him in surprise for his vehemanance, before she narrowed her eyes at him slightly, no words needed in conveying her disappointment at her Marchwarden's behaviour.

Haldir had the grace to look chastened.

"Thank you, My Lady," she murmured, dropping into another curtsy.

Galadriel nodded. "I would see you later child, in my garden perhaps. I wish to speak with you."

Imrhienna nodded.

"And Haldir, I will see you now," she said, before following the wardens who carried Rumil to the talans.

Haldir followed, but stopped for a moment, turning to face Imrhienna. "Orophin will take you to a talan. Stay there until someone fetches you." He bit out, before turning back to the Lady.

"Do not concern yourself Haldir." She retorted, hating how he made her appear such a fool in front of the Lady, but finding she could not stop herself from speaking up now. "I am only here for Rumil."

He shook his head slightly, unable to think of anything to say, before turning and stalking after the Lady. Why did she always manage to have the final word?! And why, if he was so determined not to love her again, _why_ did he hate himself for how cruel he had been?

&&&

'Haldir, I must admit I am a little surprised and disappointed in you," the Lady said, as she closed the door to Rumils room behind her. "I had thought that after all these years, you could move on from your bitterness enough to at least be civil towards Imrhienna. You owe her a debt for saving Rumil."

"If I get too close, Lady, she will only cut me again."

"And so you are content with seeing her with your brother?"

"The matter does not concern me. If he wants to become involved with the little hell cat, it is his hide."

The Lady nodded sadly, before looking him straight in the eye.

"You are a fool, my Marchwarden. Why do you not admit that despite it all, it is not bitterness or anger or her rejection that keeps you from her again? Will you not see that the only thing keeping you from her arms is your fear?"

Haldir straightened his shoulders, his chin jerking up. "I am not afraid of her!"

The Lady shook her head. "Yes you are. You are afraid of losing her again, so afraid that you will not let yourself have her. And you fear her rejection. But tell me, Marchwarden, is seeing her in the arms of another not even more terrifying than your own loss of pride?"

Haldir did not answer.

"May I take my leave, now, Lady?" he asked, not meeting her gaze.

The Lady closed her eyes in a moment in defeat, before trying a different approach.

"You had no right to keep her from her home forests Haldir. From now on, she is welcome amongst us. Maybe it was I who was the fool to think the two of you could get through this. That you could overlook your own insecurity with her wanting something more out of her life. But know that from now on, there is only one thing keeping you from her. Yourself."

He turned and walked away, trying to tell himself that she had not stripped five hundred years of misunderstanding and anger into a few sentences of truth, and that she had not seen right into the heart of the matter and laid it bare before him. Or for that matter, right into the heart of him.

Insecurity, fear? Not I, he thought, as he pulled himself even straighter, and continued to stalk to his own talan, slamming the door behind him. Not I.

&(&(

She waited in her talan until she found she could not stand it any more, and she threw herself from the room, running along the many paths of Lorien as though she had never left.

Very little had changed. The trees were taller, there were faces she did not recognize, but the spirit of the city still recognized her. At the end of one of the many paths she had trodden, Rumil waited, smiling, before striding over.

"You are healed!" she exclaimed, a little unused to seeing him mobile, after all the time she had spent seeing him in bed.

"I am up and about once more, dear Imrhienna. Thanks to your divine skill, and that of the Lady, I am once more invincible!"

He thumped his hands to his chest, and she struggled not to laugh. He threw his arm around her back, pulling her to him.

"If you were invincible, then how did you become injured in the first place?" she asked wryly, as she let herself be drawn against him, trying to suppress the wrongness she felt at being in his arms.

"Ah, nothing but a clever ploy to meet you once more, fair Imrhienna," he said, before dropping his head to kiss her.

She turned her head slightly, and his lips met her cheek. He drew away, a thread of surprise in his eyes. Then understanding.

"I'm sorry Rumil, I…the Lady is waiting." She tore herself from his arms, and with an apologetic smile, she made her way to the Lady's talan.

Rumil sighed and shook his head a little. He would give her time. For it seemed that she was not as over Haldir as she would like all, including herself to believe.

And in the mean time, he would simply try to win her over, he thought, as he strode away, a new life in his step. His cold older brother did not deserve her, if he could not see her.

She hesitated outside of the talan, more than a little unsure of what would happen if she entered. Steeling herself, she knocked, and heard the Lady's gentle voice bid her to enter. She opened the door, and stepped inside, and found the Lady smiling gently over at her from her place on the balcony.

"Come, sit with me," she murmured, and her feet, almost unbidden, found their way to stand beside the Lady. She looked out over the city.

"You have done a great thing in healing Rumil, Imrhienna" Galadriel said, before turning to look at Imrhienna.

She reddened slightly. "I am a healer, Lady. I did what any would do."

Galadriel shook her head gently. "There are not many who would face the Marchwarden's wrath for one they barely knew. Especially if they had parted under the circumstances that you and Haldir did."

Imrhienna could not meet the Lady's eyes, she kept them on the city below her. Galadriel turned her to face her, her hand forcing her chin up to look at her, her eyes searching, and smiling slightly at what she found.

"You are not meek like you once were Imrhienna. It was perhaps, besides your stubbornness, your only failing."

"It is difficult to be meek when surrounded by village men, Lady," she murmured. The Lady nodded in agreement.

"You have changed much in your time away from us, Imrhienna."

"Not so much," she murmured in reply, knowing the Lady could see through her like water.

"You still love him," Galadriel stated, softly, and once more, Imrhienna turned away.

"I do not feel for him what I once did."

"No, it has only gotten stronger. Foolish child, do you think that Rumil can replace Haldir in your affections?" Galadriel asked gently, not taking her eyes off of her for a minute. It made her most uncomfortable.

"I do not seek to replace, Lady. I seek to forget."

Galadriel nodded sadly. "It should never have been taken this far." she said, before turning back to face the city again. "You are welcome in our city, your home. You always have been."

"I thank you, Lady, but the Village is my home now."

The Lady nodded sadly once more. "Very well then. But know you are welcome."

Imrhienna turned to leave then, when she heard the voice of the Lady following her.

"One more thing, Imrhienna."

Imrhienna turned to face the Lady once more.

"If it is Haldir you seek to forget, than why did you come back?"

And in all honesty, Imrhienna could not answer her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

One thing that Haldir knew about liquor was it gave him a tendency to make rash decisions, and to speak whatever was on his mind. And despite that it took vast quantities to do so, he was finding that he no longer could keep track of the drinks before him these days.

The many functions that his office and title demanded he attend meant that he was given ample opportunity to imbibe, and given that Imrhienna and Rumil were always present also, he found he had all the more reason to do so.

He leant sullenly against the wall in the shadows trying not to stare at Imrhienna. But it was a losing battle.

She was resplendent. After talking to the Lady more than a week ago, he found he could no longer fool himself into thinking he did not want Imrhienna.

But perhaps, he thought, half in hope, half in disappointment, that was all it was. Lust. A half remembered dream at the passion they had shared. Yes, he mused, perhaps that what his body longed for, and naught else.

Seeing Rumils arms linked through Imrhienna, his hand at the small of her back, his words making her smile softly up at him, was enough to drive him mad. He could do little to avoid the two of them, but Rumils overtures towards her were not all he realised.

It was her overtures towards him that he paid closer attention to.

He saw her head turn to avoid his lips upon hers. He saw her hand come between the two of them to separate them a little, never allowing him too close. And not once did he see the same feelings Rumil held for her reflected within her eyes.

Whenever they drew close together, her eyes became filled with hesitancy. And Haldir knew that she did not feel for his brother. He knew that she still felt for him. Or at least, his alcohol dulled mind whispered, wanted him. He saw her watching him, just as he watched her.

And one night, a little worse for liquor, and upon seeing her standing on one of the many balconies of the city alone, he decided to bring things to a head.

"Haldir?" she exclaimed, a little surprised at his sudden presence behind her, before her voice turned cold.

"If it is Rumil you are after he has left to address the Lady. He will be back shortly." He ignored her words.

"Tell me that you feel the same fire, the same passion for him that we shared."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Tell me that whatever you're feeling his arms is but a shadow of what we had."

"Rumil is a good elf. I am content."

"He can not be what I was to you. What I still am to you."

"What you were."

"Please, Imrhienna. You have not changed so much in five hundred years. You can still be the elf you were. I can still see your longing for me written all over your face. You long to give in to me."

She laughed bitterly.

"Lie to me a little more, Haldir. Convince me that you never stopped loving me. I might just forget the difference between myself and who I used to be. You loved me then Haldir. This is me now. And you had best get used to it, for I am not content to be meek anymore. And I may never love Rumil the same way that I loved you, but he sees _who I am_, not who I was."

And he needn't ask who or what had made her so jaded. For the answer sounded resoundingly in his head.

"I can‎ deny that I still feel something for you Haldir, but you made it abundantly clear on what your feelings on the matter were two hundred years ago."

"But my love wasn't enough for you then either, was it, but it's all you want now," his anger turned to bitterness, and all rational thoughts quickly flew from his alcohol clouded mind.

He stalked closer.

"Haldir?" she asked, a little confused by his sudden closeness, and the rapid change in his behaviour.

"I owe you a debt, Imrhienna. You saved my brother. Now I'll give you what you want. I pay my debts, Imrhienna" He pushed her back against the wall of the talan, kissing her fiercely.

She struggled against him, unable to budge him. He tore his mouth from hers.

"This is what you want isn't it? This is what you've always wanted? Should I be on my knees? Isn't that were you would have me?" He kissed her again, and she brought her knee up sharply, missing her target, but hitting his thigh instead.

He laughed bitterly. "You do not want me now? You change your mind as the sky changes colours in the evening."

His hands pulled her dress up higher, until it was almost around her waist. She pushed against him.

"Haldir, let go of me! You are little better than the men!"

His eyes, which had been filled with bitterness and lust became filled with a burning intensity. His hands stilled against her thighs.

"Did they touch you, Imrhienna? Did they lay their filthy hands upon you?"

She glared at him.

"Believe me Haldir, you are much closer to raping me than they ever were."

Her words had the effect her struggles had not. All fire left his eyes. Haldir moved away from her then like she was a hot coal.

Cold reasoning flooded his senses. What had he done? What had he almost done?

She shrugged her dress further up her shoulder, pushing the hem down. "I think that it was not what_ I_ wanted that pushed my dress around my thighs, and your body against mine Haldir. Are you sure it was not what _you_ wanted?"

"I….I apologize Imrhienna. I will leave now, and you needn't be concerned. You will not be seeing me again." Once again, he spoke through gritted teeth. But not from anger at her, as he had so often in the past. This time, it was through anger at himself.

And from his place in the hall, Rumil turned his gaze from the departing Imrhienna, and back to his brother, whose head now rested in his hands.

He had seen Imrhienna in his brothers arms, but not the struggle between them. Clearly though, they had not parted upon good teems.

Wanting answers, he approached Haldir, intent upon forcing an answer from him, or even from Imrhienna, but was intercepted by Orophin, demanding laughingly that he had a drink with him, and when he managed to look up again, Haldir was gone.

Resigning himself to the alcohol Orophin offered, he resolved to find the answers to his questions first thing the next morning.

**A/N: I know this was shorter, but I had to end it there. can't be giving you too many answers at once now., lol. Also, I'm still writing it.lol. enjoy. and let me know what you think now. please? **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

At the banging upon his door, Haldir forced himself from his chair, making his way over to the door of his talan. Opening it, and seeing who it was, he nearly closed it again.

"What is it brother?" he asked, massaging his forehead, not wanting to face the one who was lucky enough to receive the affections of Imrhienna, the one who was wanted whilst he was left wanting.

"I know you spoke to her last night."

Haldir looked up sharply. "Where are you leading this Rumil?"

"Haldir, do I need to lay everything out for you?"

He did not answer, instead turning from Rumil, to walk out to his balcony. This was a mistake, he realised, as due to his splendid view, he quickly spied her wandering the gardens of the city, her attention on her own thoughts, oblivious to the two Lords so high above her.

"She is divine, isn't she?" he commented absently, before he could stop himself.

Rumil smiled a small, sad smile. "I saw your embrace last night Haldir."

Haldir did to say anything once more, torn between telling his brother of the shameful nature of their 'embrace' the night before, and leaving the past to rest.

"She was never meant for me Haldir. She has always been yours. You have just been too stupid to see it." It seemed that it was as hard for Rumil to admit it as it was for Haldir to hear it.

Haldir looked as thought he might retaliate sharply to that comment, but found he could not.

"I'm not saying that she will make things easy for you brother, but then, you have a tendency to complicate things yourself. Just go to her. Tell her of your affections for her"

It was then that Haldir had finally collected enough of his wits to form a reply. "She does not want me brother! She has said so herself. Rest assured that she is well aware of my _affection_-" He near spat the word. "- for her. It was my _affection_ for her that had her pinned against a talan wall last night, and my hand up her skirts whilst she tried to pull away!"

Rumil was silent, Haldir's words slowly sinking in, and his willingness to help his brother, slowly began to dissipate.

"What have you done brother?" he asked softly.

"Nothing, thank the Valar. She brought me to my senses. But I feel I may be correct in assuming that she has no desire to see me."

"Then you are a fool twice over Haldir." Rumil said, before leaving Haldir alone on his balcony, with only his own thoughts for company.

Rumils only wished to see Imrhienna happy, and whilst he knew that he was not the elf to make her so, he was beginning to doubt if Haldir was either.

Haldir looked out over the slumbering city. He felt some of his old anger return. Anger that he could not be what she so wanted. Anger that she had left him for, of all things, men. Anger because he knew that in truth he had no right to be angry, whereas she should be furious, and never want to see him again. And anger because in his heart, he knew that she had every right to be.

&(&(

All wisps of a dream where instantly cleared from her head at the knock to her door.

"Yes?" she called a little reluctantly, half dreading, half praying, that it was Haldir.

"It is Rumil, Imrhienna please let me in."

She crossed the talan to open the door, and stood aside to let Rumil in. Half relieved, half disappointed.

Rumil turned to face her, before pulling her swiftly into his arms, and kissing her with a strange finality.

She kissed him back, half heartedly.

Rumil took his lips from hers, and turned and led her to the couch.

"Are you alright Rumil?" she asked, a little curiously, he was acting so strangely.

He turned to look at her then, as he sat down.

"We cannot be together anymore, Imrhienna" he said with that same strange, sad half smile.

"Rumil?" she asked, more than a little confused at his sudden change in heart. He had been pursuing her most enthusiastically until this night.

"I have spoken with Haldir, and he has told me of what occurred between the two of you this night."

"Rumil, I did not want that, I-" Rumil held up his hand, not letting her finish.

"I know, Imrhienna, I know. But as much as my brother does not deserve you, I cannot help but feel that a part of you wanted him. That he is the only one you will ever want."

"If you honestly feel you can live without Haldir, live with seeing him everyday, live with calling him brother, than you know you are welcome in my arms, Imrhienna. For my affection for you could well grow into something more. But I think we both know that that is never going to happen, is it?"

She tried not to let the tears gather as she slowly shook her head. He knew her better than she knew herself.

"No Rumil. I do not think I will ever be able to love another the way I loved him."

"And still love him."

Imrhienna hesitated, before she looked up at him apologetically. "Rumil I-"

She was cut off abruptly, as a warden came swiftly into the room.

"My lady, there is a human on the fences, calling for you. She refuses to leave." The warden looked from her to Rumil aware that he had interrupted something.

"I must go," she whispered to Rumil, trying not to betray her own pain at Rumils words this night.

Her pain that stemmed from the one truth through it all. That she still loved Haldir. And could not bring herself to stop.

She rose from her chair, and followed the warden swiftly, Rumil following close behind her. She looked at him questioningly.

"Surely you do not think that I would abandon you just because you do not want to be my lover?" he asked, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

Imrhienna smiled at him, before mounting the waiting horse.

6&&&

"Branna?" Imrhienna was more than a little surprised to see the woman alone at the fences. So soon after the birth of her child, she should not have made such a journey on her own.

"Fire!" Branna gasped, clutching Imrhienna's gown. "Last night, wild fire…destroyed the crops, our whole village…gone!"

Imrhienna stood in shock for a second, before pulling herself straighter, no longer uncomfortable with the woman's begging hands upon her.

"I will come immediately. Go with Orophin, Branna, and he will see you rested and then returned to the village." Imrhienna pinned Orophin with a look that would have commanded the obedience of a greater elf.

The warden led the exhausted, shaking woman to a flet to allow her to recover. Imrhienna however, turned to Rumil, who had followed her to the fences.

"Rumil, I must-"

"Go," Rumil said with a gentle smile, knowing that she was never his. "You have work to do. The people need you."

She nodded stiffly, before impulsively leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. She then turned, and made her way swiftly back to the village of Craigey. Or what was left of it.

**A/N:Enjoy, and merry christmas to all!! Let me know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Orophin winced visibly at the sight of his proud older brother slumped in his chair, nursing a glass of wine, and from all other appearances, his pride.

"What is it brother?" He asked a little warily. He had no desire for company this night.

"It is Imrhienna. She is leaving again. She is going back to the Village. Fires have reduced it to little more than ash."

If Haldir felt anything, his expression gave away nothing, as he stared deep into his wine glass, as though it held all he could ever want.

"If she wants to return to the men, then far be it for us to stop her." The severity of his tone was more than a little frightening.

"You will let her go again?" Orophin asked quietly, and Haldir did not answer, content to let his silence speak for itself. He swallowed the last of his wine, and poured another glass.

&(&(&8

Senma met her at the very edge of the forest.

"You came!" she cried, rushing over and pulling he into a tight hug. Imrhienna stiffened , before allowing herself to relax. The child smelt of wood smoke, and was covered in ash.

"Tell me what happened, she asked, kneeling so she was on the childs' level. Senma had tears lining her face.

"The fields were so dry, no rain made them too dry…." She babbled, before Imrhienna grasped her chin, making her look at her.

"The people, Senma, where are they? Are they alright?"

Senma shook her head. "The men that were in the fields, they have not returned, and I can not find my mother!"

She took one last look at the tall silent boughs of the forest behind her, and turned her back to them once more. Then, rolling up her sleeves, she picked Senma up into her arms, and carried the weeping child into the charred remains of the Village Craigey. And with every step she took, she reassured herself once more that she could not love Haldir anymore. That it was time to forget. Because there was too much at stake now. Too much for her to lose to allow herself to think on her own selfish wants anymore.

Winter was fast approaching the Village of Craigey. No crops had survived the fires hunger, and what little stores they had had already been sorely taxed. What men returned were gravely injured, and she was hard pressed to tend them all. She did not eat, and could not sleep, knowing that each minute she took for herself, it was costing another. They would not last the winter, and Imrhienna knew it. She could not even beg the help of the Lady Galadriel, as her countless patients were all so ill from their burns, that if she left for even a day, they would perish. And she refused to let a single one of them go to the Shadow realms.

The Village was receiving aid from some of the surrounding villages, but it was poor fare at best, when other Villages where in the same predicament after years of drought. And whilst the rains had come, they came too late. Nothing would grow, without seed to grow it from. But still, Imrhienna refused to abandon the people.

And from the edge of the forest, Rumil watched now and then. Until, he too could see what she had seen. The plight of the people, and of Imrhienna, and resolved at long last, to take matters firmly into hand. Or at least, he thought grimly, his brother.

&(&(&89

"How much longer?" Rumil snapped, breaking Haldir out of his reverie. He reeled in shock for a second at his younger brothers tone, before fixing him with an icy glare.

"What was that brother?" he asked coldly.

"You heard me, _brother._" Rumil ground out. "How much longer? How much longer are you going to wallow in self pity, and your own bitterness? You would think that two hundred years is more than enough, but you seem so determined to hold onto your own petty anger."

Haldir looked at his brother in shock, before opening his mouth to make an angry retort, only to be cut off by Orophin, who had joined Rumil at the sound of Rumils harsh words.

"No, brother, you have no cause to speak! If you are so determined that you are the only one for her, and that you will never love anyone else, why are you being such a child about it? Why do you not _do_ anything about it? Because she will not appear at the bottom of a wine bottle!"

"She left me! It is up to her to return!" Haldir snapped, his face red with fury.

"Honestly, Haldir, we thought you were not so stupid as to make the same mistake twice!"

"She had her chance!" Haldir turned his back to his brothers.

"Haldir, in all our years of being your brother, we thought it impossible that someone could be more stubborn or more…more…."

"Pigheaded?" Orophin supplied helpfully.

"Thank you. Yes. Pigheaded. More pig headed than you. But brother, she is the only one with any right to be angry, so you get yourself to the village this eve, and you throw yourself at her feet, and beg for her mercy, or I will have Orophin hit you over the head with a piece of wood and drag you there himself."

"For the last time," Orophin muttered a little frustrated, "It was my sword, and I put her over my horse!"

"As much as I care for you, brother, I am not here because of your happiness. As far as I am concerned, you do not deserve her. But for some odd reason, she still wants you, and I would see her happy."

Haldir did not say anything for a very long time.

"Are you finished?" he finally managed to choke out dejectedly.

Orophin turned to Rumil. Both nodded.

"You think I do not know all you have said brothers?," Haldir asked then, quietly. "That I know that it is I who must set right the events I myself set in motion? That I drove her away, and that I only brought this pain upon myself?"

"If you know all this, Haldir, than what is stopping you?" Rumil asked quietly, before both brothers turned to leave.

And then, so quietly, that neither heard his whisper, he confessed to the silent boughs.

"I am afraid."

**A/N: So, what do you think? Only a few more chapters to go now, feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks very much!!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Admitting his fear put to rest his turmoil with himself, but it did not stop him wanting Imrhienna. Now that she had returned, even for a so very short a time, there were reminders of her presence all around him.

And he could no longer face the Lady, finding that when he looked into her eyes he no longer saw his own reflection, but Imrhienna's.

His nerves were frayed, his temper raw, and his spirits low.

He walked, finding that the stiller he was, the more his thoughts ran rampant. He ran, wanting to escape that which plagued him, but to no avail, until he finally threw himself between the trees into a clearing, and found himself at the same cliff face where he and Imrhienna had watched the red sun rise so very long ago.

Thinking to turn away, (and perhaps to hit something,) he was stopped by a shout from below. Turning to look down at the village, he allowed himself for the first time, in all the years that he had been coming to this very spot, to see.

He stood, looking at the charred remains of the village, and for the first time, he found he was noticing all the things he had never seen before.

There were children helping rebuild housing and planting crops, despite the early hour and bitter cold.

None of the people had very warm clothing on, and despite standing and watching for more than two hours, never once did he see them break for food.

He watched Imrhienna too. He watched as she moved through the village, to where she was needed. She did not stop either. And even from his place, high above them all, he could see the defeat in all their stances. They knew that despite all their efforts, they would not last the winter.

And he knew it to.

And he saw then what Imrhienna had seen all along.

This was not about he and Imrhienna. This was about something much larger, (than even his pride, he thought wryly) something that should, could not be ignored.

It had never been about Imrhienna's feelings for him.

It was he who had made it about them. It was his own insecurities that had driven her from him.

It was he, and he alone who was responsible for the suffering of them both now. And upon realising this, truly knowing than that it was only he who could resolve the situation, he squared his shoulders then, and turned back into the forest, leaving all his old bitterness and resentment behind him. Turning and looking back over the Village one last time before disappearing into the trees, he murmured, to the remains of the Village far below him;

"I do not like who I have become."

And upon his return to Lorien, he did what he should have done so very long ago, when the subject of aiding the village was first brought to him.

&&&67

Imrhienna sat in her room, fighting the tears that she knew eventually would come. She knew that it was over for the people. If she left to beg the help of the Lady, her countless patients would die in her absence, and if she did not, the whole village would perish. It was a choice that rendered her heart in two. And despite the fact that even now, as she prepared to leave for the borders, she knew that with the men dead, even with aid from the elves, the women of the village would not last much longer with no one to do the heavy work of the fields. No new children would be born. And knowing that she had no other choice other than to let the men die, she swallowed her tears and left her cottage, to make her way into the forrest.

Just as she was about to step in to the shadows, she looked up at the shouts coming from the village. Shouts that could have passed for….joy? she turned and ran to the village center, intent upon seeing what had caused the first sign of joy in so very long.

One look at the marked crates, the piles of preserved goods, the blankets, the livestock, the staple food supplies that were carried past her, and she knew who was responsible for them. Elves passed her, all baring armfuls of clothing, which they distributed amongst the children, even their stern dispositions weakened at the children's cries of delight at the beautiful strangers who came bearing gifts.

She reached out to grasp the arm of one who walked past her, and her eyes widened in shock when she saw it was Orophin.

"Orophin?" she asked, her voice little more than a whisper. Orophin shook his head, trying to hide his smile.

"Nay, Imrhienna. Haldir." He said, before he continued on his way, leaving her gaping in his wake.

Haldir? After all these years his acknowledgment of these peoples problems, of her plight, made her knees weaken. Surely not! She thought in disbelief. But then she saw Haldir's own brigade amongst the elves distributing goods, and she knew that it must be so.

She was so sure she could stay away from him. But as yet another pile of blankets passed her, she knew she could not. It was the last stone on her mountain of resolve. It toppled.

She had convinced herself that she didn't want to know him anymore. That maybe after all these years she could begin to forget the way she burned for him, the way her breathe caught when she saw him. And maybe, she thought, as she turned to go back into the forest, after seeing that Loriens finest healers were seeing to the men. Maybe, she did forget the old Haldir, only to fall instantly in love with the new one. She wanted to know him again. She wanted him to love her again. And she wanted to love him.

**A/N:only one chapter left now. And I know this was only a short one, I'm sorry! And then its all over my friends. Thankyou all for your support through this story, and for your kind words and advice. It has been greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, this will be my last LoTR fic for a while, as I will be starting university soon, and want to concentrate on that for a while. I will be writing ficlets still, and am perhaps looking into an X men fic or two. So enjoy this chapter. An end is near now. And thankyou. Don't forget to tell me what you think!**


	11. Chapter 11

Haldir sat in his talan, on the balcony that overlooked the city. His wine lay forgotten in the larder, having found no further use for its sweet intoxication. There was only one kind of sweetness he had room for now, and he was to never have it again it seemed.

Then he looked up at the approach of footsteps.

She was there, in his doorway. And his old terror returned once more, and he was hard pressed to shake it away. She approached, before stopping just short of him, her hands softly by her sides.

"You helped the village. Do not lie Haldir, you were not amongst them, but I knew those marked supplies and goods had they come from my own room!" she said gently, before forcing his head up to look at her.

"Don't tell me that the Mighty Marchwarden cares for the plight of men?" she asked, her soft smile taking the sting from her words.

"I may….Last week, I…You were…correct to want to help these people."

"But now I owe you a debt, Marchwarden," she said softly, allowing her arms to pull herself closer to him.

"You owe me nothing. My debt is greater still." He said softly.

She shook her head, before pulling his lips down to hers, and kissing him softly.

He did not move, he just let her lips rest upon his.

"Thank you, she whispered against him. She took her lips from his then, to mould her body to his. It was then she realised he was trembling.

"My dreams have tormented me with visions of you for so long, Imrhienna how do I know that you are real?"

"I'll show you." She whispered back, before pulling him against her, and kissing him with all the passion and frustration that she possessed.

"What took you so long?" she whispered, pulling away slightly, the barest of spaces between them. "You could have had me from the first."

"I was afraid," he murmured, running his hands tentavely through her hair, and down her hip.

"Whatever of?" she asked, a little confused.

"Of you," he replied, his gaze avoiding hers. "You did not want me. You did not need me. You wanted something greater than me. And then you were gone. I lay my heart at your feet, and it felt as though you trampled it when you left."

"I was not leaving you, Haldir, you silly elf. I was simply going to help others. I never meant to leave you, it was you who left me."

He looked at her for a long moment, and knew that she was right. He had driven her away.

And after that, he could not hold himself back anymore.

He lowered his lips to her throat.

"I should never have let you go. I should never have driven you away," he murmured, as he rained kisses upon her neck. "I should have followed you, I should have helped your every step." He felt himself slowly come undone at her hands buried in her hair, and as his confessions poured out of him, he found the more he spoke, the easier it became.

She arched her back against his touch. "But you are here now," she whispered back.

He stopped his constant kisses upon her body to look up at her for a moment, passion making his eyes cloudy and dark. "I have wasted the last two hundred years, Imrhienna I'll not waste another second."

His tongue laved her hip, and she shivered, her hand threading into his hair, holding him closer to her.

"I love you, I loved you all along," she whispered then, as she felt his tongue stroking inside her, and she threw her head back, her knees buckling, unable to support herself any more.

Haldir's hands came to circle her waist, holding her firmly against the wall, not letting her fall, as he continued to torment, to tease, to worship her.

"You are like fire," she gasped out, and he tore his mouth from her for but a moment to stare heatedly up at her.

"Then burn," he murmured hotly, before he rose and pulled her even closer to him, bringing her forward until her back pressed against the wall, her front, against him. She could not escape now, even if she had wanted to.

He kissed her again, their clothing sliding to the floor as though it no longer could bare the heat of the two bodies within it, each aching for the touch of the other. Her body no longer felt like hers, it belonged to him.

She arched against him, moaning, pressing herself against him, even her strength not enough to waver his. He tore himself away from her lips, to gaze, gasping, into her eyes, his own dilated by passion, what little control he had managed to exercise fleeing at the sight of her swollen lips and mussed hair.

He pulled her back with him, until they collapsed onto the bed, both a little unsure of how they got there, but too intent upon gaining the touch of the others flesh that they did not question it. Despite the fact that they both no longer wore any clothing, it was not enough.

Haldir rolled himself atop of her, fighting once more for control. She mewled, eyes closed, begging him to take her. He buried his face within her neck, becoming little more than a creature of base desires as he thrust into her then, her body welcoming his after such a respite without him.

He could not stop himself. He threw himself into her, again and again, and she rose to meet his thrusts, wanting more of him. All of him.

And for the briefest of moments, as they both felt a climax so terrible and beautiful approach it was devastating, their eyes met, and an instant of calm passed between them, the eye of the storm, and they knew that there could be no other for either. And then, it was upon them. Overwhelming in its power, two hundred years of pent up frustration, anger, longing and entreaty sent them arching off of the bed, her limbs entwined so tightly around his body that he did not know where she ended and he began. And he did to want to.

It shook them, tore them apart and drove them together again, the mutual pleasure coursing through them, until they were left with nothing but the other.

Overwhelmed, they fell back to the bed, shaking, gasping, trembling, weak as babes, content to be buried in the other a while longer. The silence grew, punctured only by their rapid breathing, which gradually slowed, until it remained unbroken. And all was as it should be.

"How do you feel?" he asked quietly, long minutes later, tenderly stroking the side of her face, looking down upon her as though she were his everything.

"Like your own," she whispered back.

Haldir smiled then, the same tender, possessive smile that she remembered from all those years ago.

"Does this mean that I can _call_ you my own once more?"

She smiled back, tenderly stroking his chest.

"I never stopped being yours Haldir."

"I'll not let you leave again," he whispered into her hair then, and she stiffened abruptly.

"Haldir, I thought that you understood! I must-" her words were brought to an abrupt halt as Haldirs lips stayed her words.

"I was not finished Imrhienna. I will not let you leave again. And to ensure you do not, I will just have to stay with you, wherever you choose to stay, be it here or in Lorien."

Imrhienna looked up at the new Haldir, a changed Haldir, her eyes wide.

"You would leave Lorien? For the village?"

"No," he said, pulling her closer to him. "For you. Only for you." And with that, he kissed her again, stopping all conversation between the two for a very long time.

&(&(

Years later, the Village flourished, abundant in laughter, joy and wealth. The children of the men frolicked with those of the elves, and the ever watchful Marchwarden saw to the safety of all. His wife, his children, and their home, in the Village of Craigey, on the outskirts of Lorien, where the elves frequented, increasing trade, goodwill, and alliances.

And every evening, Haldir came home to his infuriating, headstrong, beautiful wife, (being pregnant seemed to mellow her somewhat however, and Haldir resolved to keep her that way as much as possible) and his four children. His two stubborn daughters, just like their mother, and his two strong, mischievous sons, too much like their Uncles' Rumil and Orophin.

For the first time in two hundred years, Haldir was happy. Imrhienna was happy. And the Village prospered.

Fear had never been so sweet.

**A/N: ta daaa!!!! its finished. And now I'm sad because I have to think up another idea for a story an it took me like, a year to think of this one. Thank you to all my readers and reviewers, do me the favor of telling me what you think one last time/ and don't worry. I won't be too far away with another story. I think June perhaps, although as to what it will be about, I have no clue. lol. Thank you all for your support!**


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